When you set your intention for emotional wellbeing, you grow out of the habit of dependency on other people for your happiness and security. This transition may take some time to assert itself until you find a clear and healthy way to express emotion. The question then asked changes from ‘what can I get out of this relationship?’ to ‘what can I bring to this relationship?’
You can choose to bring in emotional security and self worth. This ensures you will no longer crave affection, praise or attention from a partner; and become sullen and withdrawn when it is not forthcoming.
It will end the obsessive behaviour of craving a relationship to make you feel secure and complete.
Bring to a relationship the qualities that you would like to see mirrored back to you. You are the person with the power to be whole and complete unto yourself. Like attracts like; become the type of person you wish to attract.
Sometimes you can lower your expectations because you don’t believe you are worthy of a loving relationship. This false belief keeps the love you really wish to manifest out of reach.
If you aren’t sure of what type of person you would like to attract; look around you at the people you meet, see what qualities magnetise you to another person. Look deeper than outward appearance; what qualities do you find attractive in a person. Is it respect, loyalty or trustworthiness? Could it be emotional intelligence, kindness or an independent spirit?
When you see the traits you wish to attract, set your intention to bring forth those qualities in yourself. By exuding these positive traits in yourself, you attract on the outer level people who reflect it back to you.
By changing your mental framework to accommodate a broader spectrum of ideas and options, you will have a lot more opportunities, not only in your relationships, but in all aspects of your life.
Once you begin to trust in your feelings, you can use emotion to gauge how you feel about an event, a course of action or a person who comes into your life. You will no longer be dependent on mental interpretation to give you an answer. In fact egoic thinking can never give a clear answer because it constantly throws up questions rather than solutions.
Being over reliant on mental strategies can leave you indecisive and over reliant on the advice of others. As well meaning as those you seek advice from may be, they can only advise you from their frame of reference. This depends on their upbringing, influences and how they interpret information from the world around them. Unless they are truly empathic, they cannot feel your feelings. At best they can point you in the direction of your truth; at worst they can confuse you due to an unpleasant experience they may have had.
Use your own emotional guidance to show you how you feel about someone, something or any given situation. Take responsibility for your decision making. Keep your intention strong to make decisions that give the best possible outcome for you at this point in time. This helps you achieve emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence helps you to develop your intuition; the access point to Higher Self’s wisdom.
~ Collette OMahony