Tag Archives: depression

A New Era of Therapy.

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The landscape of counselling has been transformed by the advent of online therapy. No longer do we need to stress about battling traffic, searching for a car park space near the therapist’s office, or worrying about making it to an appointment on time via public transport. Instead, we can simply make a cup of tea, settle into a quiet space, and click on the secure link sent by our therapist.

The ease and accessibility of online counselling have made therapy more inclusive and convenient, allowing individuals to seek support from the comfort of their own homes. Whether you are juggling a busy schedule, living in a remote location, or simply prefer the privacy of an online session, virtual therapy provides a seamless way to access professional support without additional logistical concerns.

The Changing Face of Online Therapy: Chrysalis and PALM

In the UK, Chrysalis has long been recognised as a leading provider of counselling courses, offering comprehensive training for aspiring therapists nationwide. Recently, they have expanded their services to include online therapy through a pioneering mental health initiative known as PALM.

Palm

I had the privilege of joining the PALM program during its pilot phase, helping to test and refine its online counselling service. The significant interest in this initiative highlights both the dedication of the team behind PALM and the growing demand for hassle-free therapy options. PALM has developed a secure video platform and booking system designed with client confidentiality and user-friendliness in mind. One of its key benefits is the ability for clients to choose a therapist who feels like the right fit for them, reinforcing the importance of a personalised therapy experience.

Making the Most of Your Online Therapy Sessions

From my experience as an online therapist, I have gathered some useful tips for those considering one-to-one online counselling. Implementing these suggestions can help ensure you get the best out of your sessions:

Preparing for Your Sessions

  • Set Clear Goals: Consider what you hope to achieve from therapy. Setting realistic and achievable goals with your therapist can provide a sense of direction and progress.
  • Understand the Process: Ask your therapist how online therapy works and what to expect. If any terminology is unfamiliar, don’t hesitate to ask for clarification.
  • Create a Safe Space: Choose a quiet, private area in your home where you won’t be disturbed. If you’re concerned about being overheard, using headphones can enhance privacy.
  • Minimise Distractions: Turn off notifications, silence your phone, and close unnecessary tabs on your laptop to remain fully present during the session.

During the Session

  • Use Your Time Wisely: Therapy is your space to explore thoughts and emotions that you may not feel comfortable discussing with friends or family. Be open and honest with your therapist about how you’re feeling.
  • Stay Present: It can be easy to let your mind wander, especially in an at-home setting. Engaging fully in the session will help you gain the most from the experience.

After the Session

  • Take Time to Reflect: Once your session ends, check in with yourself. How do you feel? Are you overwhelmed, relieved, or experiencing a mix of emotions? This self-awareness can help you process your thoughts and track your emotional progress over time.
  • Step Outside If Possible: If you’ve had an intense session, a change of scenery, such as a short walk or some fresh air, can help ground you.
  • Reach Out for Support: If you feel the need, consider letting someone you trust know that you’ve had a session. Having a trusted person check in with you afterward can be a source of comfort.

Building Trust in the Online Therapy Space

It’s completely natural for therapy to feel unfamiliar at first. Building trust and establishing a strong connection with your therapist takes time. If you ever feel uneasy or unsure, communicating these feelings with your therapist can be incredibly beneficial. Being open about your experience allows your therapist to tailor their approach to better support you.

Therapy is a journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth. Whether you’re navigating a significant life transition, coping with grief, or seeking to understand yourself better, online counselling offers a valuable space for reflection and change. By approaching it with an open mind and a willingness to engage, you can make the most of this transformative process—right from the comfort of your own home.

Start your counselling journey today by browsing through Palm’s directory of skilled therapists at palmtalkingtherapy.com

Article written by Collette O’Mahony, Pluralistic Therapist and member of PALM.

Self-Care

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Self-care is our way of prioritising mental, physical and emotional wellness. It can help manage symptoms of stress and anxiety, contributing to our overall well-being. Self-care is the act of caring for ourselves and making a conscious effort to do things we enjoy and that we will benefit from. It’s about being aware of our health, identifying our needs, and taking steps to meet them.

It may sound simple, given that we shower, dress and eat our meals on a daily basis. But self-care is more than taking care of our basic needs in a hurried or frenzied manner while we rush to the next task. We have to listen to our body to truly understand its needs. Keeping busy and socialising may work for some people, but others may benefit from some alone time. Prioritising our mental and emotional health is a priority, all well-being proceeds from here. As the flight attendant tells us in the airline’s ‘case of emergency’ talk before take-off, be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first before seeing to others. This applies to energy also; tap into your own energy source daily to recharge your system. Otherwise, you run the risk of absorbing energy from those around you.

The exchange of energy between people is a secondary supply at best, and is on a lower vibration than source energy. When we interact with people in a passive-aggressive, defensive or a fearful way, we are opening our energy field to negative influences. We run the risk of vibrating at a lower frequency and begin to feel tired, stressed and anxious. To combat this low frequency energy exchange, we must tap into our own source of energy on a daily basis. By practicing mindfulness, we can tap into the energy source at the core of our being. This not only has a calming and uplifting effect but it also helps to set strong boundaries, this will ensure we don’t absorb other people’s negative energy and they are unable to take our source energy through their behaviour and role play.

Keep a self-care journal. Note at least 3 things you did to contribute to your own well-being; such as a walk in nature, a relaxing bath, and 30 minutes of mindfulness. Find things to be grateful for, write them down. Sometimes, when we are at a low-ebb it is difficult to find things to be grateful for, but if you can open your eyes in the morning, walk the dog, see beauty in your surroundings then there are things to be grateful for. Gratitude ignites well-being, with this constant attitude you can transform your life.

I have listed below some essential actions toward well-being and self-care. You may add other things that benefit you such as reading, listening to music, stroking your pet or just sitting quietly with a cup of coffee.

1. Mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment, and accepting it without judgment. Mindfulness has been scientifically proven to be a key element in stress reduction and overall happiness. Take at least 10 -15 minutes morning and evening to sit quietly. Make sure your phone is turned off or out of reach. Begin by taking 3 deep breaths, slowly breathing in and slowly releasing. Continue to focus on the breath until you become aware of the breathing process as a natural phenomenon. Your mind will run mental checklists and try to push you into the past or drag you into the future. Rather than resisting, or acting on thoughts, allow them to be there, almost like an overcast sky. Return your focus to the breath by inhaling and exhaling deeply a number of times. Eventually, thoughts will drift off if as you continue your commitment to the present moment.

2. Downtime.

Relaxation can give you some much-needed quiet time. It’s often the only time you can hear your own thoughts and reflect on your feelings. You may know what helps you to relax, like sitting down with a cup of tea and your favourite book, going for a dog walk, or having a long, warm bath. It’s important to schedule some downtime, making time to fully switch is beneficial for your mental and emotional wellbeing.

    3. Set boundaries

    It is important to know it’s not selfish to say no to someone, in fact sometimes it is necessary. Learning to say no without guilt can be empowering. Setting boundaries like this can give you the time and energy you need to rest, recharge and replenish your energy so you can also care for loved ones and family. Saying no isn’t always easy, you may worry you are letting someone down. But an important part of self-care is knowing when to step back and when to reach out for help. Counselling can help you work through these difficulties, teaching you how to set healthy boundaries and know when your mind and body need a break.

      4. Physical Health.

      Your physical health is as important as mental health, and the work hand-in-hand. Incorporating self-care into your lifestyle requires you to look into food nourishment, physical activity and sleeping habits. When we’re swamped with work and family duties, your physical health can often be the first to dwindle. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. If you’re going through a difficult time, sleep gives your body the chance to rest and your mind the time to process your day. What and when you eat can also affect how you feel and how you sleep.

      5. Talking about your situation.

      If you’re finding it hard to cope, talking to others can offer a sense of relief. Sometimes, we can be surrounded by people but we may feel very alone. There are people who care about you and support is available. Perhaps ask a friend to join you on a walk and ask if they could just listen to you talk rather than offering solutions. Part of self-care is not allowing yourself to go through the journey alone, there are several charitable foundations that offer group and one-to-one support. Self-care is about you and your health and there are times in life that we all need support. Never, underestimate the power of talking and listening, knowing that we matter is essential to our wellbeing.

      While self-care is about caring for yourself, seeking and accepting help when it’s needed is a big part of self-management. If you’re stressed, feeling low or having difficulty coping day to day, going through it alone makes the journey all the more difficult. Counselling can help you understand how vital it is to take care of yourself. A counsellor can help you learn how to cope with your emotional stressors and behavioural issues leading to a greater understanding of yourself and those around you. Putting yourself first, contrary to social beliefs, is the single most important step you will ever take towards self-care and continued well-being.

      Collette O’Mahony.

      March 2024.

      If you want to get in touch about online counselling (zoom) you can contact me at info@colletteomahony.com.

      http://www.colletteomahony.com/counselling

      The War Against Ourselves

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      As we enter a further three weeks of lock down in a national and global effort to halt the spread of coronavirus, people are beginning to wonder if there is any end in sight. Loneliness and isolation are having an impact on people’s mental health, so too is close proximity to spouses, children, parents and siblings for longer periods of time that in normal circumstances. The lonely, long to be near friends and family, and those in family groups or dysfunctional relationships, long to be left alone. Being alone with our own thoughts and the shadows they throw across the mind is a daunting prospect, something I can attest to but so too, is living in close quarters with a person who is controlling and manipulative. In both scenarios we must either face up to our thoughts and feelings about the situation or be consumed by them. The war against the virus has become the war against ourselves.

      One thing I know for sure, life is transient and this current situation will pass. It is our underlying thoughts and belief systems that can leave us feeling victimised and overwhelmed. Depression casts a long shadow across our inner light duping us to believe life is unfair and hopeless. But despair not, there is a way through the darkness. When I found myself in such hopeless circumstances eight years ago, surrounded by damning thoughts, which in turn attracted hostile living conditions, I realised no one could save me but myself. Having a victim mentality only gives others power over you, particularly a controlling personality. No matter what the intentions, whether to exploit or to advise, giving someone control over your emotions leads to high emotional anxiety and mental agitation. The way out for me was by owning my emotions, the anger, the grief, the guilt and the despair. The underlying unfelt emotions fuelled a barrage of difficult thoughts which in turn darkened my view of myself and those around me. Owning my feelings, no matter how painful, led to a release from my emotional and mental imprisonment, which in turn set me free from a toxic living arrangement.

      Depression goes undetected in many people, it is only when there is a threat to life that it is diagnosed. The unfortunate effect of depression in some cases is the alienation of family and friends. In many cases, the person is unaware of what is happening to their mental and emotional state, their fear of pushing away loved ones causes them to bury their feelings. Tragically it is only after a suicide attempt, the gravity of mental illness is highlighted to family members.

      In many ways, we are all trying to flee from our damning thoughts through our busy lifestyles. When that is suspended due to the current worldwide pandemic, we have nowhere to run. We can try to fill the extra time with chores, gardening, Netflix, alcohol and food. As the time drags on into further weeks of lockdown and possibly months, anyone affected by dark thoughts and anxiety will have to face the cause. The cause is unfelt emotions lurking in the subconscious from past fears and trauma.

      Set your intention for healing and awareness, for mental and emotional well being. Spend quality time alone, try not to avoid loneliness, rather try to understand why you are lonely. Listen to the inner voice as you would a loved one. Putting someone else at the centre of your world through dependence leaves you weak and vulnerable. It takes time to change a habit of a lifetime. Take small steps toward your liberation, by sitting for ten to fifteen minutes each morning in a meditative state. Thoughts will come and go, some mildly looking for attention, others aggressively trying to take you away from inner peace. Let them be. Sink deeper into the feeling body, feel where the sensation arises in your body, this is the fuel that causes thought. Be with the emotion as long as you can, by giving full attention to the feeling it will be released. This may be experienced as deep sobs or a sharp sensation, either way by releasing the emotion, it can no longer fuel shadow thoughts.

      By putting ourselves at the centre of our world we can best be available to others. Be kind to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the bar for how others treat you. In the words of Ram Dass, ‘We are all just walking each other Home.’

      Collette O’Mahony 18/04/2020

      Image; Brooke Shaden

      Cause & Effect

      Thoughts are the cause. Feelings are the effect. If one refuses to feel the effect of cause, karma is created or emotional debt.

      Cause & Effect is a universal law that allows the harmony and unity of twin energies. Cause (thought) has a corresponding effect (feeling), and feeling has a corresponding thought. When feeling resists an emotion it becomes form bound as a personal thought i.e. me.  A build up of karmic debt results in an inflated sense of me and myself or ego. The emotionally charged self uses the mind through self-centred thinking. The seesaw of emotion and thought determines the physical reality one experiences. Through the female form, feeling energy realises it cannot manipulate or control its twin energy… mind. Through male form, mental energy realises it cannot emotionally abuse its twin energy… spirit.

      Intention to release feeling from the mind attracts helpful thought. Intentional good thought attracts good feeling. Continue reading →