Self-care is our way of prioritising mental, physical and emotional wellness. It can help manage symptoms of stress and anxiety, contributing to our overall well-being. Self-care is the act of caring for ourselves and making a conscious effort to do things we enjoy and that we will benefit from. It’s about being aware of our health, identifying our needs, and taking steps to meet them.
It may sound simple, given that we shower, dress and eat our meals on a daily basis. But self-care is more than taking care of our basic needs in a hurried or frenzied manner while we rush to the next task. We have to listen to our body to truly understand its needs. Keeping busy and socialising may work for some people, but others may benefit from some alone time. Prioritising our mental and emotional health is a priority, all well-being proceeds from here. As the flight attendant tells us in the airline’s ‘case of emergency’ talk before take-off, be sure to put on your own oxygen mask first before seeing to others. This applies to energy also; tap into your own energy source daily to recharge your system. Otherwise, you run the risk of absorbing energy from those around you.
The exchange of energy between people is a secondary supply at best, and is on a lower vibration than source energy. When we interact with people in a passive-aggressive, defensive or a fearful way, we are opening our energy field to negative influences. We run the risk of vibrating at a lower frequency and begin to feel tired, stressed and anxious. To combat this low frequency energy exchange, we must tap into our own source of energy on a daily basis. By practicing mindfulness, we can tap into the energy source at the core of our being. This not only has a calming and uplifting effect but it also helps to set strong boundaries, this will ensure we don’t absorb other people’s negative energy and they are unable to take our source energy through their behaviour and role play.
Keep a self-care journal. Note at least 3 things you did to contribute to your own well-being; such as a walk in nature, a relaxing bath, and 30 minutes of mindfulness. Find things to be grateful for, write them down. Sometimes, when we are at a low-ebb it is difficult to find things to be grateful for, but if you can open your eyes in the morning, walk the dog, see beauty in your surroundings then there are things to be grateful for. Gratitude ignites well-being, with this constant attitude you can transform your life.
I have listed below some essential actions toward well-being and self-care. You may add other things that benefit you such as reading, listening to music, stroking your pet or just sitting quietly with a cup of coffee.
1. Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment, and accepting it without judgment. Mindfulness has been scientifically proven to be a key element in stress reduction and overall happiness. Take at least 10 -15 minutes morning and evening to sit quietly. Make sure your phone is turned off or out of reach. Begin by taking 3 deep breaths, slowly breathing in and slowly releasing. Continue to focus on the breath until you become aware of the breathing process as a natural phenomenon. Your mind will run mental checklists and try to push you into the past or drag you into the future. Rather than resisting, or acting on thoughts, allow them to be there, almost like an overcast sky. Return your focus to the breath by inhaling and exhaling deeply a number of times. Eventually, thoughts will drift off if as you continue your commitment to the present moment.
2. Downtime.
Relaxation can give you some much-needed quiet time. It’s often the only time you can hear your own thoughts and reflect on your feelings. You may know what helps you to relax, like sitting down with a cup of tea and your favourite book, going for a dog walk, or having a long, warm bath. It’s important to schedule some downtime, making time to fully switch is beneficial for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
3. Set boundaries
It is important to know it’s not selfish to say no to someone, in fact sometimes it is necessary. Learning to say no without guilt can be empowering. Setting boundaries like this can give you the time and energy you need to rest, recharge and replenish your energy so you can also care for loved ones and family. Saying no isn’t always easy, you may worry you are letting someone down. But an important part of self-care is knowing when to step back and when to reach out for help. Counselling can help you work through these difficulties, teaching you how to set healthy boundaries and know when your mind and body need a break.
4. Physical Health.
Your physical health is as important as mental health, and the work hand-in-hand. Incorporating self-care into your lifestyle requires you to look into food nourishment, physical activity and sleeping habits. When we’re swamped with work and family duties, your physical health can often be the first to dwindle. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. If you’re going through a difficult time, sleep gives your body the chance to rest and your mind the time to process your day. What and when you eat can also affect how you feel and how you sleep.
5. Talking about your situation.
If you’re finding it hard to cope, talking to others can offer a sense of relief. Sometimes, we can be surrounded by people but we may feel very alone. There are people who care about you and support is available. Perhaps ask a friend to join you on a walk and ask if they could just listen to you talk rather than offering solutions. Part of self-care is not allowing yourself to go through the journey alone, there are several charitable foundations that offer group and one-to-one support. Self-care is about you and your health and there are times in life that we all need support. Never, underestimate the power of talking and listening, knowing that we matter is essential to our wellbeing.
While self-care is about caring for yourself, seeking and accepting help when it’s needed is a big part of self-management. If you’re stressed, feeling low or having difficulty coping day to day, going through it alone makes the journey all the more difficult. Counselling can help you understand how vital it is to take care of yourself. A counsellor can help you learn how to cope with your emotional stressors and behavioural issues leading to a greater understanding of yourself and those around you. Putting yourself first, contrary to social beliefs, is the single most important step you will ever take towards self-care and continued well-being.
Collette O’Mahony.
March 2024.
If you want to get in touch about online counselling (zoom) you can contact me at info@colletteomahony.com.
Collette OMahony (Author's blog) 